The Mickey Mouse Fight Club
Words by Aron Simkins Art by Patrick Witmer
Mickey: Characters, welcome. You may know me as the Mouse, but in here you call me Double M.
Woody: I’m sorry Mr. M., but I think I might be in the wrong meeting.
Donald: PssssbthhLooks PssssLike PpthbssssWe PssssbllGot a PssssNew PssssbthhGuy!
Woody: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand a thing that pantsless duck just said. Sounds like he has a mouth full of marbles or something.
Jiminy Cricket: Or something.
Woody: Listen guys, I’m just looking for the lecture on plastic corrosion awareness?
Goofy: Ah-hyuck! This is the Mickey Mouse Fight Club, biatch!
Mickey: Goofy! What’s the first rule of Mickey Mouse Fight Club?
Goofy: Never talk about Mickey Mouse Fight Club, gawrsh.
Mickey: That’s right. Looks like you just earned first ups—and the privilege of officially welcoming our new partner to the family.
Woody: I’m sorry. What kind of meeting is this?
Mickey: Cowboy-up, Woodrow. This is your life now, and it’s ending one sequel at a time.
Woody: Heh. I’d love to hang around, but I really oughta get back to Buzz and the other Pixar pals.
Mickey: You belong to us now, isn’t that right Jar Jar?
Jar Jar: Meesa can’t feelsa da right side of my facen anymore.