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The Mickey Mouse Fight Club

Words by Aron Simkins     Art by Patrick Witmer
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Mickey: Characters, welcome. You may know me as the Mouse, but in here you call me Double M.

 

Woody: I’m sorry Mr. M., but I think I might be in the wrong meeting.

 

Donald: PssssbthhLooks PssssLike PpthbssssWe PssssbllGot a PssssNew PssssbthhGuy!

 

Woody: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand a thing that pantsless duck just said. Sounds like he has a mouth full of marbles or something.

 

Jiminy Cricket: Or something.

 

(Everyone laughs.)

 

Woody: Listen guys, I’m just looking for the lecture on plastic corrosion awareness?

 

Goofy: Ah-hyuck! This is the Mickey Mouse Fight Club, biatch!

 

Mickey: Goofy! What’s the first rule of Mickey Mouse Fight Club?

 

Goofy: Never talk about Mickey Mouse Fight Club, gawrsh.

 

Mickey: That’s right. Looks like you just earned first ups—and the privilege of officially welcoming our new partner to the family.

 

Woody: I’m sorry. What kind of meeting is this?

 

Mickey: Cowboy-up, Woodrow. This is your life now, and it’s ending one sequel at a time.

 

Woody: Heh. I’d love to hang around, but I really oughta get back to Buzz and the other Pixar pals.

 

Mickey: You belong to us now, isn’t that right Jar Jar?

 

Jar Jar: Meesa can’t feelsa da right side of my facen anymore.

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