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Heartbreak! Lovers From ‘Distracted Boyfriend’ Meme Enter Couples Counseling

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Words by Kylee Wood      Art by Patrick Witmer

Friends and fans were shocked to learn the stock picture-perfect couple is close to being donezo.


A source close to the couple has confirmed they were, in fact, leaving a couple’s therapist earlier this week. “The mood was tense,” commented the source. “He was desperate to be distracted by anything.”


The couple first rose to fame a few years back when the two of them (whose real names are Mario and Laura) were photographed having a public spat. Many fans assumed it was staged, but it seems as though it has gotten very real.


A close friend reported that the Laura (GF) has been upset recently, feeling like her boyfriend wasn’t “seeing” her. It seemed like wherever they went there was a female personification of socialism, a new gaming console, or naps that were stealing his attention.


Mario (BF) doesn’t seem to see it that way. Addressing the rumors on his Instagram story late last night, he stated: “Living my truth means taking in everything—and everyone—around me. If those things happen to be more desirable or risky, I can’t be blamed for that.”


Our source stated that their initial session did not end well, having Laura (GF) admit she has been Googling other Getty Images, and in weaker moments, even GIF’s.


We reached out to the couple’s publicist for an official statement and were told, “the couple is committed to seeing this through—over various formats, if needed.”


Here is hoping these two can work it out. I for one, can’t imagine trying to stretch out a workday without them.

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