Words by Ryan Croker Art by Aaron Rowell
Top 10 GIFs from Sources I Don't Recognize
Who doesn’t love a good GIF? It seems like more and more of my online conversations are punctuated by a clip from the Office or Thelma and Louise. I love them because they are efficient and make me look much, much wittier than I actually am. I’ve done lists of my favorite GIFs of all time. But this time, I wanted to call out my favorites from sources I can’t identify. I can’t use them here, so I have to describe them as best I can.
1. That one with that guy who says, “I’ll be back.” I don’t know who he is, but he has, like a metal eye or something? He also has a gun of some kind. Man, this one is incredible for all of the times you want to tell people that you will be back at some point in the future.
2. The one with the horse running on the beach and the word “Freedom” appears in rainbow letters above the horse. Is there any better definition of freedom? I submit that there is not.
3. There’s one that has like, an alien robot or something? He has one hand that’s a claw and one hand that’s a drill or something? It’s black and white, so it must be old.
4. That GIF with all of the astronauts eating pudding. All of America’s astronauts are in one room at a long table. They all take a bite of pudding at the same time. Then the American flag shows up. It’s really patriotic.
5. The one where Don Knotts kills a guy. My favorite Three’s Company actor is standing on a street corner when he pulls a pistol out of his pocket and just nails some guy on the other side of the street. The word “Bang” appears after he shoots. I don’t know if this is from a movie. I actually think it might just be a snuff film. I use this one when I want to gloat after I make a good argument online.
6. Dancing Corn. No words, it’s just a dancing corn on the cob. The kernels just start falling off and the cob withers up and dies. It’s hilarious!
7. The slow zoom-in on an old tire. It’s a slow zoom-in on an old tire. Classic.
8. The woman who says, “I don’t trust you, but I do trust the human genome project.” She’s wearing a long blue dress and black leather boots. After she says the line, she smashes a test tube with one of her boots. This is ideal for a quick reassuring message to a loved one.
9. Meat forks. An old man sits down to eat. He grabs a fork and says, “This fork is made of meat!” Then he eats the fork. I use this one a lot when I review movies.
10. That clip from the nature documentary about beetles. A beetle crawls out of a log, stands on its hind legs, and says, “Beetle Mania!” I sent this one to a friend of mine who recently lost his pet beetle.