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Words by Jon Baty      Art by Kell Padget
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Things Rockstars Shouldn't Say

“Are you ready to rock? … No? … Fine. We can wait.”


“This next song is for all the lovers in the house. It’s called, ‘Thanks, Mom, for All That You Have Done for Me.’”


“Is it too loud for you? We can turn it down.”


“It’s great to be back in Charleston! Where’re my sexy ladies at? This is awkward, but the last time we were here, I contracted syphilis from one of you, so make sure you get checked.”


“I think I just pulled something. I’m going to sit down for this next song.”


“Who wants some string cheese and a Ritz cracker?”


“I’ll be honest. We are not going to give you our all tonight.”


“Hi, we’re Creed. We’re gonna play some Nickelback songs for you.”

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