Therapist: So, can you tell me why you are here today?

 

Girlfriend: We need therapy. Or more specifically, he does.

 

Therapist: How so?

 

Girlfriend: I want us to get married but… he only speaks in memes.

 

Therapist: I’m sorry?

 

Boyfriend: I don't know who needs to hear this, but we could solve our problems just by talking.

 

Girlfriend: See?

 

Therapist: That seems perfectly normal to me.

 

Boyfriend: ‘ight imma head out

 

Girlfriend: Don’t you dare.

 

Boyfriend: You were at my wedding Denise….

 

Therapist: I thought your name was Miranda.

 

Girlfriend: It is.

 

Therapist: So, Denise is—

 

Girlfriend: Part of a stupid meme.

 

Boyfriend: This doesn’t spark joy.

 

Girlfriend: I am seriously considering breaking up with him, but I really want us to get married. If only he would stop with the memes.

 

Boyfriend: I made queso.

 

Girlfriend: Why are you like this?

 

Boyfriend: I’m baby!

 

Girlfriend: Kevin, I swear.

 

Therapist: When did this start?

 

Girlfriend: A few years ago. He originally did it as a joke to cheer me up because I was having a really bad week but now... he just won’t stop.

 

Boyfriend: If you don’t have 30-50 feral hogs, are you even alive?

 

Therapist: Hmm. I see.

 

Girlfriend: I feel like we can’t even communicate anymore.

 

Boyfriend: Today’s tea:

 

          )         )        )

    )     (         )       )  

_(___(____)____(___(___

\         therapy                    /

  \        is not                     /     |

    \      for                        /____|

      \    everyone           /

        \                            /

          \___________/

 

Girlfriend: You said you would try, Kevin. This is not even trying!

 

Boyfriend: Hurt me.

 

Girlfriend: Oh, you want me to do this? Fine. The reason you are acting this way is because you are an elder millennial.

 

Boyfriend: Wait

 

Girlfriend: You think that avoiding your reality will make it go away, but it won’t. Your problems will follow you wherever you go.

 

Boyfriend: Stop

 

Girlfriend: You know what? Forget it! I’m done here.

 

Boyfriend: This is so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.