top of page
Words by Nicole Messina      Art by Mari Gabi Messina
mockinbird K_1.png


Follow Nicole on Twitter or visit her website
Follow Mari here

Therapist: So, can you tell me why you are here today?


Girlfriend: We need therapy. Or more specifically, he does.


Therapist: How so?


Girlfriend: I want us to get married but… he only speaks in memes.


Therapist: I’m sorry?


Boyfriend: I don't know who needs to hear this, but we could solve our problems just by talking.


Girlfriend: See?


Therapist: That seems perfectly normal to me.


Boyfriend: ‘ight imma head out


Girlfriend: Don’t you dare.


Boyfriend: You were at my wedding Denise….


Therapist: I thought your name was Miranda.


Girlfriend: It is.


Therapist: So, Denise is—


Girlfriend: Part of a stupid meme.


Boyfriend: This doesn’t spark joy.


Girlfriend: I am seriously considering breaking up with him, but I really want us to get married. If only he would stop with the memes.


Boyfriend: I made queso.


Girlfriend: Why are you like this?


Boyfriend: I’m baby!


Girlfriend: Kevin, I swear.


Therapist: When did this start?


Girlfriend: A few years ago. He originally did it as a joke to cheer me up because I was having a really bad week but now... he just won’t stop.


Boyfriend: If you don’t have 30-50 feral hogs, are you even alive?


Therapist: Hmm. I see.


Girlfriend: I feel like we can’t even communicate anymore.


Boyfriend: Today’s tea:


          )         )        )

    )     (         )       )  


\         therapy                    /

  \        is not                     /     |

    \      for                        /____|

      \    everyone           /

        \                            /



Girlfriend: You said you would try, Kevin. This is not even trying!


Boyfriend: Hurt me.


Girlfriend: Oh, you want me to do this? Fine. The reason you are acting this way is because you are an elder millennial.


Boyfriend: Wait


Girlfriend: You think that avoiding your reality will make it go away, but it won’t. Your problems will follow you wherever you go.


Boyfriend: Stop


Girlfriend: You know what? Forget it! I’m done here.


Boyfriend: This is so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.

bottom of page