Words by Nicole Messina Art by Mari Gabi Messina
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Therapist: So, can you tell me why you are here today?
Girlfriend: We need therapy. Or more specifically, he does.
Therapist: How so?
Girlfriend: I want us to get married but… he only speaks in memes.
Therapist: I’m sorry?
Boyfriend: I don't know who needs to hear this, but we could solve our problems just by talking.
Therapist: That seems perfectly normal to me.
Boyfriend: ‘ight imma head out
Girlfriend: Don’t you dare.
Boyfriend: You were at my wedding Denise….
Therapist: I thought your name was Miranda.
Girlfriend: It is.
Therapist: So, Denise is—
Girlfriend: Part of a stupid meme.
Boyfriend: This doesn’t spark joy.
Girlfriend: I am seriously considering breaking up with him, but I really want us to get married. If only he would stop with the memes.
Boyfriend: I made queso.
Girlfriend: Why are you like this?
Boyfriend: I’m baby!
Girlfriend: Kevin, I swear.
Therapist: When did this start?
Girlfriend: A few years ago. He originally did it as a joke to cheer me up because I was having a really bad week but now... he just won’t stop.
Boyfriend: If you don’t have 30-50 feral hogs, are you even alive?
Therapist: Hmm. I see.
Girlfriend: I feel like we can’t even communicate anymore.
Boyfriend: Today’s tea:
) ) )
) ( ) )
\ therapy /
\ is not / |
\ for /____|
\ everyone /
Girlfriend: You said you would try, Kevin. This is not even trying!
Boyfriend: Hurt me.
Girlfriend: Oh, you want me to do this? Fine. The reason you are acting this way is because you are an elder millennial.
Girlfriend: You think that avoiding your reality will make it go away, but it won’t. Your problems will follow you wherever you go.
Girlfriend: You know what? Forget it! I’m done here.
Boyfriend: This is so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.