Words by Ryan Croker
Art by Aron Simkins
The 5 Best Movies to Play at a Multi-Family Mafia Gathering
So, you’re hosting a multi-family mafia gathering. Maybe you’re discussing the cessation of hostilities after your nephew started a war by taking out a rival. Maybe you’re discussing what to do about that new Mayor who promises to “do something about organized crime.” Or maybe you just needed an excuse to order a bunch of pizzas and get a group discount. Whatever your reason, if you want to take your gathering from “sleeping with the fishes” to “that’s a spicy meatball,” you’ll play one of these movies for everyone.
It might seem clichéd to watch a mafia movie at a mafia event, but Goodfellas is such a good movie that nobody will mind. Featuring incredible performances from Joe Pesci and Ray Liotta, Goodfellas is a definite winner. From start to finish, the compelling saga of Henry Hill and his journey from low-level enforcer to entering the turning state’s evidence and joining the Witness Protection Program will bond your group like nothing else.
2. Smurfs: The Lost Village
It’s a little-known fact that the Smurfs are based on some of some of the biggest names in mafia history. Papa Smurf is none other than the “Teflon Don,” John Gotti. Brainy Smurf is a none-to-subtle homage to “Lucky” Luciano. Hefty Smurf is obviously Carlo Gambino and Smurfette represents both Arnold Rothstein and Carmine Galante.
3. Thor: Ragnarok
Everybody loves Thor: Ragnarok.
4. The Final Sacrifice
Here’s a hint. Mafia crime families LOVE bad movies. The Final Sacrifice is one of the worst—a Canadian adventure film released in 1990. With awful performances from no-names like Christian Malcom and Bruce J. Mitchell, this movie is an absolute stinker—one that will bring a huge smile to the face of each and every don, capo, consigliere, and soldier out there.
5. You’ve Got Mail
Some will tell you that Sleepless in Seattle is the better Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks romantic comedy, but they’d be wrong. Few cinematic experiences can compare to seeing two seeming rivals fall madly in love via the medium of electronic mail. If you show this movie to any of the major North American mafia families, you are going to be the toast of the town.