Turn the lights out, pop some corn, and snuggle up in that tacky blanket-sweater you received from the creepy guy at your office holiday party. It's time to sit back and enjoy a Hallmark Christmas movie. Only, these aren't the sap-soaked movies you hate to love. Nope. These are the ones you wait to watch once the kids are in bed. The ones intended for only the most festively afwul among us.

This is Hallmark.... after dark.